Friendliness Is Not Enough

Melanie Smollen, Project Manager

It is absolutely true that a friendly wave and hello are very important to getting visitors who are not familiar with your church to come back.  It is also true that friendliness alone just isn't enough of a reason. Our research shows that there are three main drivers to making a person comfortable with returning for a follow up visit:  music, message, and hospitality.  Fail in any of these areas and the likelihood of seeing that person, or their family, again, drops significantly.

Let’s take, for instance, a recent visit by one of our mystery guests to a church in Michigan.  She said, “I was very impressed with the overwhelming hospitality and friendliness of several congregation members who came up to me after the service. They all knew that I wasn't a ‘regular’ attending person but let me know how happy they were to see a new face in the crowd. They invited me to come back anytime and to bring friends and family.”  Later in the survey she again lauded the friendliness of the church with, “The congregation members were extremely welcoming to me, even though I was significantly younger than all of them. This was a pleasant surprise!”

It’s obvious this church family is living out the commandment to love thy neighbor. You’d expect that this young lady will be back next week to hear more of God’s Word from these welcoming people, wouldn't you?  Well, she won’t.  Here’s what she said about the likelihood of a repeat visit: “I would not return to this church. The music was way too traditional for any ages below 60.”  She went on again to extol the “happy and friendly attitude of the pastor and attendees,” but stated that it was not enough to overcome the lack of multimedia support of the pastor’s sermon or how “bored I was during the music and most of the rest of the service.”

We've found that it’s a pretty common thread among folks of all ages that if you have good quality music, your message makes an impact on the guest, and you’re friendly, then the likelihood of seeing that guest again is high.  Miss the mark on any one of those and that likelihood drops significantly. If you fall short on two or more it drops even more.

In this instance, our mystery guest - a young woman in her early twenties - mentioned that the music was “too traditional.” That’s a fairly subjective term that differs from person to person.  The commonality we've discovered is that in most cases, regardless of age, it doesn't make much difference if your music is traditional hymns played on the organ or contemporary praise music played by the house band. It’s all about the quality and the level of engagement from the congregation. People want to sing about things they agree with.  If the people leading worship and the church body aren't engaged, then your visitor won’t be either.

Along the same lines, a flashy multimedia presentation slipped into a sermon isn't the right answer in every situation. It’s more about making such a presentation relevant to the message and that it supplements the passion and conviction communicated by the speaker about the message.  The TRUTH is what compels people, not a flashy multimedia presentation for the sake of having a multimedia presentation.

In Mark 16:15 (NIV) it says, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” Often, the world walks right through the door of your church, just to see what’s going on.  Don’t miss the opportunity to share the gospel. Also, remember, if you don’t preach it as if you believe it, it’s unlikely a visitor will be back to hear more.

To learn more about Faith Perceptions, contact us:  573.335.1782 or info@faithperceptions.com